What I Learned From Guy Richie’s Sherlock Holmes

We went to see Sherlock Holmes on Christmas day.

It was a crowded mess, so we bailed early, exchanged our tickets, and watched it the next day instead.  Which is lesson 1.

1. Be early.  Web publishing it a lot like going to the movies — there’s no reason to be last to the party.  The good seats and the good drinks go to those that arrive first.  And when you’re saving a damsel in distress, best to arrive before she’s dead.
2. Know when to give up (at the movies and, in the case of Holmes, with women).  We’re getting to be much better at spotting lost causes than we used to be.  If we arrive at a restaurant and it seems hurried and behind, we’ll leave.  It’s not worth the agony.  Better to just try again another time than to get a pain in your neck.
3. Facts, you need facts.  Holmes is great when he’s in need of data.  He sniffs out the facts and then pieces together a theory.
4. Details matter.  Better to know that one of the bad guys has custom cap-toed bluchers than to know that the bad guy wears black dress shoes.
5. Theories come after you get the facts.  Don’t theorize before you have facts or you will “collect facts to fit the theory instead of creating theories to fit the facts”.  With web analytics it’s always tempting to theorize early on.  Best to collect data first.  Best to keep your distance from theories lest they become as ingrained as beliefs.
6. Be sneaky.  Sometimes you need to trick people (and Google Analytics) to get the data you need.  Untricked, they may just give you the data they think you want.  (Read about tainted altruism data in SuperFreakonomics.)  Many times you can’t just ask and receive.  You need to ask smartly.
7. Avoid fear.  Fear is poor motivation for meaningful action and reasoning.  Fear pollutes your mind.
8. When fighting somebody bigger than you, distract him, block his attack, go after the jaw (it’s weak), then the ribs (crack them), then punch him in the femur.  Finish him off with a heel kick to the chest.

I can’t wait to see what I learn from Avatar.